Ethan Huang

Dedicated to dignity and to hope ❤️

It was halfway through year 8 English when I got the text. His pulse is weak, falling in and out of sleep. It was all so sudden. Suddenly, I found myself in I Block staff room saying goodbye for perhaps the last time. I will never forget how scared, and vulnerable I was. Due to the pandemic, we didn’t have enough time to go back and visit. All we had was tears through a screen. And yet, through the pain and the weakness of not eating for days, when he saw my face, he still reached for the camera almost as if I was there, his hands holding my face. It felt like only just yesterday I was sitting in those uncomfortable wooden chairs, playing cards with him. 

I regret so much. Although it’s out of my control, I regret not being able to see him more. I regret not making most of the time I was there with him. But grandpa and I had always shared a cherished connection since my childhood. He sacrificed so much for his family, working in the farms so his brothers could get education, quitting smoking when my mum was pregnant. He was my hero. Sometimes I imagine a red thread connecting us, greater than life and death. It’s like I loved you before I existed and I will love you even when I die. 

Through my experience, I realised how unpredictable life is. How hesitancy will cause regret. How small actions will make a real impact.

That’s why despite fear of judgement, despite stepping outside my comfort zone. I will continue growing my hair until October 15th, when I will be rocking the chop and buzzing my hair. 

Any support is deeply appreciated❤️❤️❤️